There have been times when I have sat and thought about peoples attitudes to life and been able to see how self destructive they are. I can think of at least 3 people who recently I've found an interest in and they had a vague interest in me. However due to whatever, circumstances, head stuff, other stuff, many things (not really too sure what lol) they wouldn't give us a chance, they wouldn't give me a chance. It has been so plain to see that these people are self destructive and aren't willing to give someone a chance. Maybe its self punishment, maybe they don't want to let go of the past, however much they say they do, not being a mind reader, not having them talk to me despite me trying, I just don't know.

However, due to other things that occur, I am now wondering if I am self destructive myself, choosing the difficult situations to be in, to have someone to blame when things go wrong.

Don't get me wrong I know I'm not blameless when things go wrong but I just wonder why it is I find myself in these situations!

Maybe I am deluded, or maybe its a unconsious thing in which I make myself unhappy and subconsiously think I deserve that :??:

Or maybe its simply a desire to make others happy and in doing so myself as that is the type of person I am??

Pondersome eh?? ;)